I created this microsong after reading one too many articles about the myriad ways human civilization does catastrophic damage to the ecosystem. It’s not really a sea shanty, and yet, it seemed like the kind of message you might expect to be delivered by a pirate. #microsong
Call it the corollary to “Wind Beneath My Wings”. We all have someone in our lives to whom we can dedicate this microsong. Today, this one goes out to that sack of crap trying to claw his way back to the White House. I don’t even have to say his name. #microsong #shitler
Music is simple. Even a caveman could do it. Though I’ll admit, it’s hard to improve on the original recording of this one https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2011-04-28T22_46_28-07_00 #microsong #caveman
Wouldn’t it be great if we could resolve all our geopolitical disputes like this? You know, with mostly naked surrogates, trying to beat each other? It would be more civilized than what we’ve got. #microsong #olympics #olympics2024
We are living in some crazy times, my friends. Angry words turn into angry deeds. There are threats of violence, and then there is actual violence. It’s tempting to stay in your corner, turn to your tribe and raise your guard. But you’re gonna get what you give. Don’t get sucked into the scrum. I dare you to be brave. Stay centered in yourself. Trade that fist for an open hand. #microsong
As our nation steadily slides into idiocracy, she deserves a simpler anthem. Screw the flowery language, today’s patriots want something they can yell at football games, or chant at dissenters who dare to stand up to them. To that end, I offer this earworm, suitable for screaming while you’re drunk on the xenophobia provided to you free of charge by our billionaire overlords. Happy 4th? #dissent #stopproject2025 #microsong
This world will try to steal your joy. Don’t let it make you into a Squidward! #microsong
Back after a two-week hiatus, it’s the Code of Hammurabi! No, not THAT Code of Hammurabi. I need the code for the Commode of Hammurabi. And also, maybe a razor, to shave my nose? Oops. Oh, well. Guerilla filmmaking, folks. #microsong
Election season is beginning, and with it – especially this time – a torrent of bullshit is headed our way. Mainstream Mediapolis wants to sell you things. The Trump Dump reeks of self-serving lies. Biden Blah-Blah Burgh will only tell you part of the story. And I’ve already wasted your time in Funtown. So come on down to Non-Bullshit Town. I think you’ll find it’s worth the trip. #microsong
I came up with this microsong fairly recently, while I was listening to Louis Armstrong. I don’t think this is an actual Louis Armstrong riff, but it is absolutely inspired by him, and delivered to you with great reverence! #microsong
Still buzzing from the punk energy of The Idles’ show last week (and apparently, still healing from a mosh pit impact I took on the chin) I offer you this little ditty inspired by both British punk rock, and British politeness. This microsong could be from the perspective of a bloke whose shoe you just stepped on, insisting it’s really quite alright when really, it is not! #microsong
May the 4th be with you! This is kind of what I imagine a song about Jedi might sound like coming from Judas Priest, or Dio-era Sabbath. Word on the street in Corscant has it those monastic order die-hards like to par-tay!!! #starwars #maythe4th #jedi #microsong
In Act One, you got the money. Act Two, you considered what to do with it. In this, the third and final act in this microsong micro-series on money, the bill has come due. What’ll it cost? That depends. How much have you got? #microsong
On the occasion of this Earth Day, I’d like to observe that we are, as usual, doing a lot more harm than good. And corporate do-gooderism professing to give 1% of profits back “to the environment” is a laughably small fig leaf. What planet gets the other 99%? As currency seemed like a decent visual metaphor, I’m calling this Part 2 of a 3 microsong series (kind of) about money. Next week: the bills come due … #microsong #EarthDay
Now accepting most currencies, including Venmo, Zelle, Dogecoin and Deutsche Marks. We don’t take American Express. #microsong
Back after a week off for my 60th microsong! This one concerns the cares of this world, which sure can start to feel pretty HEAVY sometimes. We’ve all got to help each other to bear it. #microsong
This one may already be out of season … eh, not like it snows in LA anyway. Besides, it’s not really a microsong about snowmen. It’s more about the limitations of our knowledge in a vast and mysterious universe. But in this case, I guess there is a snowman after all! Bonus points to anyone who can name the obscure Pink Floyd song with a similar melody. #microsong
This one was kind of tough to belt out! I probably picked up this expression from Bender on Futurama, but apparently it’s something gamblers say for good luck before they toss the dice. There are songs with this title, but I didn’t find one with this same melody. Sorry/not sorry for the “dad joke” at the end. #microsong
When I came up with this microsong, perhaps two decades ago now, one’s connection to the Internet was not as assured as it is now. It was not something to take for granted; and if you ever lost it, but then you got it back, you might be moved to sing a song of gratitude for it, which this is. And that is how you know about this now. #microsong
Does it ever feel like life is pounding on your head, as if it were a nail sticking up out of the floorboard? This is a microsong for when you feel like that. Loosely inspired by the old traditional “Nine Pound Hammer”, I suppose this one makes a nice bookend to “Knockout”: instead of knocking you out, this time I’m knocking myself out. #microsong
I guess this is a Valentine’s Day microsong? It’s romantic in a goofy way, which is pretty much the only way I do romantic. Special guest appearance at the end from my mom’s cat, Marmalade (and mom laughing too). May we all find some tasty love this year #microsong #valentine #valentinesday #love #pizza
For the occasion of an “atmospheric river” dumping on us here in LA, I offer this precipitation-themed microsong. To me, the way this one ends offers a hint of sunshine to come. And it will; it always does … But until then, please be careful out there, my fellow Angelenos. #microsong
It’s the one year anniversary of microsong videos! To commemorate the occasion, I offer this “classic” from the first microsongs album, more than two decades ago: “Booty”. I was going for an old-timey blues sound with the vocal here, maybe I succeeded. I hope you enjoy this little ditty about, uh … treasure! Yeah. That’s what it’s about.
BAM! I tried to warn you … Don’t worry, no iPhones were harmed in the making of this microsong. Thanks Denise for loaning me the boxing gloves! #microsong
We humans sure love our sharp things. This is a simple microsong, but with all those props, the video was harder to make than I thought it would be! Small miracle I didn’t slice myself making it. #microsong
I decided to end 2023 with a microsong that felt like a New Year’s Resolution. It’s inspired a bit by the Jungian concept of the “shadow self” and that we cannot fully integrate ourselves until we’ve reckoned with that shadow. I used the word “synthesize” because I believe that in so doing, we make a new, better version of ourselves. Good luck with that to us all in 2024! #microsong
I don’t have an original Christmas microsong per se, but I did a microsong version of “Have Yourself a Merry LIttle Christmas” many years ago, and so, here you go. This is technically the first “cover” microsong I’ve posted here; it’ll be far from the last! Like nearly all my covers, it deviates substantially from the original. Happy Yule, one and all! #merrychristmas #yuletide # #microsong
I am not per se against the aphorism, “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” I’m just saying, consider the context. Is what you’re being asked to settle for actually good? Are you really even seeking perfection? If compromise means giving up something you need, or truly deserve … don’t do it! #microsong
I made up this song for my dog, Rosie, as we were walking one day. The message would be more applicable to say, a wayward, young adult human daughter; but I don’t have one of those, so I sang it to Rosie instead. She left us almost two years ago, right around this time of year. I miss her a lot. Rosie was a good girl. #microsong
Why are things that are fun and tasty often just not that good for you? I guess it’s part of the circle of life. #innoutburger #microsong
I’ve had the privilege to work as a writer, off and on, in kids’ animation for nearly two decades now. In that time, I’ve occasionally been asked to write for a demographic that maybe doesn't actually exist. This is the theme song for one such imaginary cohort. #microsong
Maybe we’re all spending a little too much time on our phones? Even though you’re probably watching this on your phone … and I recorded this with my phone … eh, never mind. Just try not to ba an asshole about it. #phone #screentime #microsong
When I was on hold for approximately forever with my health insurer, the recorded voice asked, “Did you know …” Before it could finish the sentence, my id auto-finished it instead: “... that we could have more of your money?” Whatever that voice may have actually said … I’m confident my version is less full of shit. #microsong
Took another week off, but I’m back with a Halloween special: it’s Loki! Or I should say, a Loki “variant” – one with glasses, and hair more like Thor’s. This song was inspired by the excellent Marvel TV series. Poor Loki, he should try keepin’ it low key a little more often. He seems a little stressed. #loki #lokiforpresident #mcu #halloween #microsong
Not gonna sugar coat it, the news has been pretty rough lately. It’s enough to make you want to scream sometimes. But let’s not scream at each other. Scream for humanity, but please: try to bring kindness and compassion to your fellow human beings, especially to those with whom you disagree. #microsong
At last, fall is here … I’ve been waiting for a while to deploy this seasonal microsong! Multiple takes got my room a bit messy, but … worth it. #microsong
For this one, I could easily have added some karo syrup with red dye, a knife, both … maybe I’m just being lazy, or I’m burned out on props. But I was also inclined to leave this one a little open. It could be about revenge; or it could just be about a guy who needs a transfusion and has a rare blood type? I’ll leave it up to you. #microsong
“Always, at every moment, there will be the thrill of victory, the sensation of trampling on an enemy who is helpless. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face— forever.” — George Orwell, 1984 #microsong
This microsong was mostly just an excuse to eat a sour cream chimichanga. #microsong
This microsong is probably 25 years old! And ridiculous as this may sound, it may have co-authors: at least a couple old friends sang it with me on a recording I have from back in the day. The dumb message, however, is obviously timeless. #microsong
Back from my first week off from microsinging, to bring you this sad bleat/keening. It’s basically a song about jealousy. Why do they get to have romantic love, but I don’t? Waaah 😭 I got the terrific condom package at a hotel in China. #microsong
For some reason, I feel like Rolf from The Muppets would have come up with this microsong – if he were fronting a heavy metal band. This sounds like something Rolf would have considered profound. #microsong
This is the part in the movie (apparently, in this case, a musical) when the villain reveals his diabolical scheme. Is that a French accent, or a German accent? The answer is neither: it’s just scary nondescript foreigner accent.
The bean counters and corporate stooges want to sell you a story about how everything must be sacrificed at the altar of their god, Mammon. It is precisely this story that has set our planet on fire. Don’t you believe it. #fuckcapitalism
People used to make songs about radio itself – songs intended to be played on the radio. This microsong is, I suppose, about the slow death of terrestrial radio (though it still exists!) and some of the fun sounds that went with it. #microsong #radio
Microsongs goes outdoors! Owing to its nature, this one had to actually be performed in my neighborhood. Included are neighborhood sounds, and the jangling of Lily’s leash & collar. My car also makes a brief cameo.
Microsongs sometimes have riffs that are intrinsically part of them. Unfortunately, I don’t play any instruments, except one: the kazoo. Had to add it here.
Of course, this is absurd: you can’t fall in love with a tomato. What a silly idea, right?! Then again, it is a beautiful little fruit. I wonder: does it love me back? I never asked to have these feelings.
It’s a special July 4th bonus microsong! I wrote this one on July 4th, 2016. I love my country, but to truly love her means I have to call her out on her bullshit – it’s the only way she’s going to improve.
Okay, maybe the melody isn’t exactly catchy. But the message is irresistible. Sing it loudly with your coworkers on the job!
I came up with this microsong a few years back, and I always liked it. But in truth, I was bagging on a movie I’d never seen, and I couldn’t in good conscience put this one out until I actually watched the movie. Well, now I have. I’m pleased to report that this song remains accurate.
This surreal ditty is about as close as I’m gonna get to a Father’s Day-themed microsong. Lily’s confession is: “I’m just a colony of bees in a dog suit, Dad.” That really explains a lot to me.
It's a fair question. The rest of the planet's species would like to know.
What if Thom Yorke did a rendition of the AutoZone slogan? For many (good) reasons, this never happened. But if it had, it would have been a B side from the Kid A/Amnesiac era, and it would have sounded something like this.
As it’s Memorial Day, I’m dedicating this one to the brave men and women defending our right to keep on rockin’ in the free(ish) world. And also, to our people in legal. I’ll concede this rather atonal microsong would be greatly improved by some heavy metal accompaniment …
Sometimes, there is no deeper meaning or double entendre in a microsong. This is one of those simpler ones, just celebrating the simple joy of having a root beer float. You know you want one!
Mr. Diggs isn't a bad guy. He just needs a little space. Okay, a LOT of space.
I sang this microsong to my dog, Rosie (RIP) when she seemed to be overwhelmed by a plethora of city noises as we drove around town. My aim was to calm her down, or at least just distract her with a basic truth. Worked pretty well!
While this microsong is more about feeling than meaning, the idea is simple: you might feel vulnerable, but if you persevere, you can achieve your goal. Hats off to Curt Kirkwood of the Meat Puppets, whose heartfelt vocal style inspired me here.
Happy Earth Day! This little ditty, originally conceived for an idiotic character named Skylab Willowlord, exemplifies why the environmental movement has largely been a failure: to many, the messaging comes across like this.
Ah, fuck: such a versatile word … This one begins reveling in the sexual meaning of “fuck” but then it takes a hard turn toward the “getting messed with” meaning. I hope you enjoy the fuck out of it! #microsong #fuck
The Spirit of the Land tires of our abuse. Through her unwitting puppet, the Bullet Man, she exacts her revenge.
I love my adopted home of Los Angeles, but sometimes, it sure feels like this city doesn’t love me back. Those times are a little bit shitty.
What if Icarus fell from the sky not because he flew too close to the Sun, but because he’s delicious and wants to be consumed? Hmm, maybe that’s not Icarus at all. It’s just Fell From The Sky Guy. Older version here: https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/malkavai/episodes/2019-02-10T22_27_08-08_00
All the rain lately inspired me to dust off this old microsong. It’s about the complex relationship we have with water. We have to have it, and it’s quite useful; and yet, too much of it, and we’re dead. You better respect water.
Lily was into social distancing before it was cool. Including from me: she HATED recording this and ultimately, peed on me! Chalk it up to old girl incontinence? We recorded this yesterday, on Lily’s 12th birthday.
I came up with this song when I was scanning the FM dial in Phoenix (I grew up there). I kept hitting country stations. It all sounded like this to me.
Of course I like to rock. Soft rock, in this case, but I like all kinds. Who doesn’t like to rock? Fascists. That’s who.
It’s a microsong about butts! Crass? I’ll leave that to you to decide, but know this: compared to many microsongs to come, this one is tame. Sooo tame.
Gus has four things to tell you about himself, one of which is a repeat. Maybe Gus isn’t too bright.
I came up with this microsong during a visit to Legoland. Part of the park is actually called Funtown. I wondered what living in a place called Funtown might be like. Emotional tyranny, that’s what.
An impossible choice: which microsong to release first?! This one isn’t even close to the funniest, or earwormiest, but it really sets the table. Yesterday’s gone, tomorrow isn’t promised. Live in the Perpetual Now.
But a few old chestnuts are still available here.
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